Stillnoname Sports

Doogie2K
Jun 12th, 2013
2:57PM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2013 Stanley Cup Finals

Two hours early!

Doogie (2:02 AM ADT): What did I tell you? What a game.

Doogie Gerard Matt Result
4-2 4-2 4-1 4-1
4-2 4-2 4-2 4-0
2-0 1-1 2-0 W-L
3 7 2 GO
0 0 1 PS
11-3 11-3 11-3 W-L
27 26 26 GO
2 4 2 PS

So here we are, after four months of labour nonsense, a 48-game sprint, and six weeks of playoffs, we’re finally at the end of the line. After three rounds, everyone’s essentially deadlocked, with perfect series looking like it could be the final decider in what’s been the closest round of picks since we started this nonsense. Looking at this final matchup, it’s really difficult to tell who’s got the advantage here, as evidenced by our picks below, and it should turn out to be a classic regardless of the end result. Will Chicago be the first non-Detroit team to win the double in over a decade? Will the Bruins prove that there is no love left in the Universe? Tune in tonight at 9 ADT and find out!

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Ender
Jun 1st, 2013
11:46AM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2013 NHL Conference Finals

Allegedly on time!

Doogie (June 8): So I finally found a few minutes to get in here. I’m not going to add reasoning to my picks because it’d a) be rubbing it in, and b) look like post hoc justifications. Nor will I try to defend that Rangers pick in round two with anything other than, “I was sick and wasn’t thinking.” So I’ll just add all the pretty history tables then peace out. Also, Gerard, you forgot that time Vancouver went to the Finals in 2011 despite your insistence that someone/something fuck them. Just sayin’.

Gerard (June 8): Nope. Take a look. I picked against Vancouver that year (and every other year) but I only started with “Fuck Vancouver. That’s why,” last season.

Doogie (June 9): Shit. You’re right. Objection withdrawn.

The big story coming out of the last round is the great success of “Because Fuck Vancouver, that’s why.” Perfect since its inception. Other than that, I’m awesome and Doogie still seems to think that the Rangers are an above-par team. I think Matt’s finally put away the dice.  So, without delay, here’s this round’s predictions!  I’m not going to do the typical Doogie thing of digging into teams’ pasts, because, well, I’m lazy.  But! Things will be up on time, and that’s got to count for something, right? Some justifications will likely be put into this over the next few days.

Doogie Gerard Matt Result
4-2 4-3 4-2 4-3
4-2 4-0 4-1 4-3
4-2 4-1 4-2 4-1
4-3 4-2 4-3 4-1
2-2 3-1 3-1 W-L
11 10 10 GO
0 1 0 PS
9-3 10-2 9-3 W-L
24 19 24 GO
2 4 1 PS

In the interests of fairness, I’m going to retire “Because Fuck Vancouver. That’s why,” for the year since all three of the teams are in the final four. [Ed: (after game 1): I apparently really should have picked the Bruins to win though...]. The universe does not seem to hate Toronto as much as it does Vancouver (I know – it surprised me too), so that tag gets scrapped for next year.

And here come the picks.

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Posted in Sports | 8 Comments »


Doogie2K
May 14th, 2013
5:27PM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2013 NHL Conference Semi-Finals

Yeah, late again. But only by one period, this time.

May 16: Matt just added his picks to our Google Doc. In they go.

Last round went pretty well, all things considered. Yeah, Montreal got nuked by injuries and a hot goalie, Boston required an historic third-period meltdown to avoid the dreaded 3-1 collapse, Pittsburgh only survived because the Islanders Pittsburghed it up themselves, and Vancouver managed to get swept in the most ironic way possible: taking too many penalties, failing to score, and screaming for Luongo to be put in net. But hey, all of us managed to do pretty well on our picks. Gerard’s clearly the big winner here.

Doogie Gerard Matt Result
4-0 4-0 4-1 4-1
4-2 4-3 4-0 4-3
4-3 4-1 4-1 4-0
4-2 4-2 4-1 4-2
4-2 4-3 4-1 4-2
4-3 4-1 4-2 4-1
4-2 4-2 4-3 4-3
4-0 4-0 4-0 4-3
7-1 7-1 6-2 W-L
13 9 14 GO
2 3 1 PS

Since there’s no rest for the weary (and because the NHL would like to finish before Canada Day), round two begins the night after a pair of Game 7s. I’m tired and sick so this is going to be super fast and superficial. Enjoy?

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Posted in Sports | 7 Comments »


Doogie2K
May 1st, 2013
7:04AM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2013 NHL Conference Quarter-Finals

Yes, we're still doing this.

Welcome to the sixth annual SNN Predicts series of articles (seventh overall, if you count the 2004 version done on the forums, lost to the mists of time but notable for the fact that I went 0-4 in series involving the Flames), in which we act like we know what we’re talking about and make our (mostly) blindingly obvious predictions, with a shocking amount of success, considering some mainstream reporters usually wind up under .500 by the time the Stanley Cup is finally awarded somewhere around Canada Day. This is also at least my fourth year in a row copying and pasting the same intro, because I’m cool like that.

This post is a day late, as is our custom, but I can assure you these picks were made without the benefit of knowing any of the scores in advance. What we do know is that Minnesota and Toronto are hilarious, Chicago and LA are awesome, and two excellent teams are going to vanish in the West in round one, which is a real Goddamned shame, but there you go. Also, I’ve been busy recently, so bite me. No Hoop as of yet, but things can happen at any point, because we’ve long since stopped pretending this was a professional operation. Gerard’s got one of those elsewhere at this point.

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Doogie2K
Apr 30th, 2013
11:09PM UTC

Hitmen End-Game: Congratulations

Great season, guys; see you in September.

1 1 0 2
0 0 0 0

 

2 6 2 7 5 3 2 4
3 0 5 3 1 4 0 3

In the end, the better team won. There’s really not much more to say than that. Plus, the scoresheet is currently busted, and I should really be finishing the already-late NHL predictions post. So instead, I present my essentially unaltered notes from tonight’s game.

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Posted in Sports | 1 Comment »