May 13th, 2016
5:00PM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2016 NHL Conference Finals

*snap* *snap* *snap*

Doogie Gerard Matt Result
4-2 4-2 4-2 4-1
4-3 LOL 4-1 4-2
4-2 4-1 4-2 4-3
4-2 π 4-2 4-3
4-0 3-1 1-3 W-L
0 0 0 PS
10-2 7-5 4-8 W-L
2 2 2 PS

And the table continues to get more ridiculous. Also, after eight years of whining, I finally removed the “Games Off” row. Jerks.

So both my Cup Final picks are still here, but to be honest, I’m getting kind of nervous about the whole thing. All four remaining teams are all generally really good, finishing in the top six of late-season possession, in Tampa’s case despite being short two critical players. Tampa’s getting their people back – Stralman now, Stamkos possibly later in the series – and while both San Jose and St. Louis had weird amounts of trouble with their second-round opponents before crushing them mercilessly in Game 7, I feel like San Jose had a way easier opponent? I could be overthinking this, but there is something to be said for not being completely beholden to your original picks from a month ago. Whatever, let’s see where the cards fall at the end of this round.

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Apr 27th, 2016
4:00PM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2016 NHL Division Finals

The NHL doesn't know how to schedule, so this is gonna be a wee mess.

Doogie Gerard Matt Result
4-2 4-2 4-2 4-2
4-3 |,,| 4-1 4-1
4-2 I say! 4-2 4-2
4-1 BOOM 4-3 4-1
4-2 4-2 4-3 4-3
4-3 4-5? 4-0 4-1
4-1 4-2 4-2 4-2
4-2 NOPE 4-1 4-3
6-2 4-4 3-5 W-L
8=== ==== ===D GO
2 2 2 PS

So, Matt looks kinda fucked right now, yeah? Always a chance that things could change still, since the NHL is insane and scheduled the first game of Round 2 before the last game of Round 1, but yeah. Also, we decided to have some fun with Gerard’s column, because if we already don’t know what we’re doing, we might as well amuse ourselves.

In other news, I’m on vacation in Calgary right now, so analysis will be light. In fact, I may just throw words on the page and then deal with it later. This is gonna be weird for me, but I like to try new things from time to time.

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Apr 14th, 2016
5:05AM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2016 NHL Division Semi-Finals

Three people who don't really watch hockey anymore still try to pick the playoffs; hilarity presumably ensues.

Welcome to the ninth annual SNN Predicts series of articles (tenth overall, if you count the 2004 version done on the forums, lost to the mists of time but notable for the fact that I went 0-4 in series involving the Flames), in which we act like we know what we’re talking about and make our (mostly) blindingly obvious predictions, with a shocking amount of success, considering some mainstream reporters usually wind up under .500 by the time the Stanley Cup is finally awarded somewhere around Canada Day. This is also at least my seventh year in a row copying and pasting the same intro, because I’m cool like that. New this year: East Coast Bias! Because I put the Wales Conference first this time!

Sudden changes in fortune seem to be the theme for this year. The Ducks played like a lottery team the first two months of the season before playing like contenders the last four; the Habs did the exact opposite. The Penguins and Wild saw dramatic turnarounds after coaching changes, the Flyers’ fortunes reversed after an addition-by-subtraction trade that bizarrely worked out for the recipients too, and the Isles backed into the postseason after looking safe for most of the year. And that’s without Canada’s historic oh-fer, several teams carrying multiple key injuries into the post-season, and the curious case of the Florida Panthers. Also, LOL Broons.

By now, you know the drill. I will put an inordinate amount of effort into justifying the fact that I basically looked at two numbers in a column and went “fuck it, that’ll do” for most of these picks, while the other two will follow their gut a bit more and, more often than not, enjoy similar or greater success. I have again joined my office pool with five Earth dollars on the line. Last year, I did the honourable thing and stuck to my picks instead of gaming the system to guarantee victory, because I’m a massive sucker who hates money, I guess. Will that silly situation arise again this year? Let’s find out!

[Ed: Yeah, it’s the morning after, but as you will no doubt notice, some of the narratives I present have already partially failed to come to pass, even if my teams did win all three games last night. As always, we’re just bad at punctuality.]

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Jun 3rd, 2015
12:00PM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2015 Stanley Cup Finals

Apparently there's a debate on Twitter as to whether that ends in an ā€œsā€ or not. Of all the things I don't miss...

Doogie Gerard Matt Result
4-2 4-2 4-1 4-3
4-2 4-2 4-2 4-3
2-0 1-1 1-1 W-L
2 4 5 GO
0 0 0 PS
11-3 8-6 8-6 W-L
19 30 33 GO
6 3 1 PS

It’s not an ice cream cake, but given the distances involved, it’ll have to do for now.

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May 15th, 2015
12:00PM UTC

SNN Predicts: 2015 NHL Conference Finals

A post that goes up the day before? What madness is this?

Doogie Gerard Matt Result
4-1 4-1 4-2 4-1
4-2 4-2 4-2 4-0
4-2 4-2 4-3 4-2
4-3 4-3 4-1 4-3
4-0 2-2 3-1 W-L
2 12 8 GO
3 1 0 PS
9-3 7-5 7-5 W-L
17 26 28 GO
6 3 1 PS

That’s more like it.

Two fresh matchups for our conference finals, one of which I nailed, one of which…well, the less said about my Campbell bracket the better. Fucking St. Louis. Anyway, they both look like they’ll be pretty fun to watch, which is really what matters at this point, since it’s not like we can channel-surf to the other series anymore. Let’s get to it.

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